Fae Mayhem has been working in the adult industry for thirty years, from dancing to webcam modeling. Fae graciously agreed to share some of their experience and wisdom gained over the years, including some useful tips and info for newcomers to the webcam modeling industry.
Enjoy this video interview below and on our Youtube channel! Scroll down for the transcription, as well as Fae’s contact information.
Fae Mayhem Video Interview Transcription
“Hi! I’m Fae Mayhem.”
Question: How long have you been working in the adult industry?
“I am now 48, so that’s about 30 years.”
Question: Let’s talk about the early days and learning how to run your business. What were some of your biggest challenges?
Fae: “Before we had big sites I was actually one of those people who was a rogue camgirl, who would lurk in Yahoo chats and get talking to people and seeing if I could get them to send me money, before PayPal made it illegal.
Big sites like iFriends popped up, it was a bit different…
I used to enjoy just hanging out, being myself, wearing costumes with themes. Which was a thing I did as a stripper, which I did for 13 years, simultaneously I did cam. There was a period of time where I went full-time with it. I was doing about a grand a week on it but I burned out on it really quick.
I’d basically just dress in costume being nerdy, and this was in the early days of cam before cosplay was huge. I had a lot of fun with that.
My particular joy was to look for unusual fetishes, medical fetishes, wheelchair fetishes, various role-play fetishes, cross-dressing. I am non binary, so it was a good way for me to explore a little bit more.
I did a lot of femdom, smoking fetish, spit, kinky stuff, dressing like a nun…
I stepped away from camming, and doing any sex work really, other than keeping the occasional long-term customer I have had as submissives here and there, and well, eventually I decided to come back to it, mostly on my terms. I came back to a larger site, Streamate, with more traffic. I tried to proceed the same way I did in the past, but it didn’t feel the same or I didn’t jive with it the same way.
So now I do my cam a little differently. Now I hang out on Twitter. Sex Worker Twitter is a good place to promote yourself, whatever flavor of sex worker you are, and cam is no exception.
I work for sites that are not the large ones. They’re more… you hang out, you’re on Skype (or used to be on Skype, now it seems be more Discord) and wait for things to pop up. And people take you away for your private show, essentially. And I like that particular method much better now. Again, I’m not relying on this as much as I used to.
Who knows where it goes. I have an awful lot of fun on sex work Twitter, so.”
Question: How has your work affected how you see the world?
Fae: “I kinda went into camming, like I did really for any kind of sex work, not just like “money and freedom”. Freedom is actually the big draw for me – making my own schedule, taking time off when I need it and the like. Also dressing fun. I went into camming and, like I said, wanted to explore unique fetishes. I was introduced to some that I’m intellectually attracted to, meaning, I’m curious and I wanna see the roots of how this happened, and watch as someone is attracted to something I find not necessarily sexual for me, but their reaction really draws me in. It’s like a fetish to watch someone hit their little dirty spots.
Spit is one of those. I understand the appeal – it’s primal, it’s lewd, it’s wet and lubricated, it’s uncontrolled. Drooling, spitting, sitting really wet lips, slurping – doesn’t hit my bell, but the reaction I get is amazing and I really enjoy that as a fetish for that reason.
Similarly with smoking, I don’t smoke at all anymore. Occasionally though I will still indulge a cigarette better with a clove specifically which used to be my favorite.
So it was a way to explore personality – not only for other people and discover what makes them tick, but me and what makes me interested in knowing what people like. Also tactile, and experiential moments. I wanted to know… Let’s try this, see how I like it. And some of them really clicked for me personally, not just as a sex worker, but my own private life, some of them just let me explore human nature a little more.
So I don’t know if it’s changed how I see the world other than being a tool to explore it. It’s affected me, obviously. I can’t ever picture myself not being some kind of small side gig sex worker.
I don’t care if I’m in a nursing home, I can totally picture myself sneaking off into the restroom to whip them tiddies out and take some snaps for sex work Twitter when I’m like 80. So I’ll be working that fetish back when I get there.
I just use it to live part of my life and I don’t ever see myself completely stepping away from it.”
Question: How has your work within the adult entertainment industry affected your personal relationships?
Fae: “The hard part came before I did cam. My family and I had differences because of lifestyle, and that wasn’t necessarily that they knew I was even doing sex work at all.
But I had a lot of gay friends. I spent nights at the goth and fetish club, and I had questionable company. So my difficulties with family came long before I actually did cam or even dance.
And when I did slip into cam, well, at that point, it was also the period of time I spent as a full-time dancer. I bonded with a lot of girls who were dancing, on the road, traveling. I had this great adventure, cross country, kind of American road trip feeling to it. So coming into cam I was already in that kind of camaraderie zone that sex workers have when they’ve been around each other. You’ve heard each other on the worst nights, you cheered each other on on the good ones.
You’d talk and chat, share information- which customers are great, which suck. It applied whether you did dancing or cam.
It enhanced my friendships, but a lot of my friendships are purposely picked in this kind of friend zone, because it’s an important part of who I am.”
Question: What is the most positive thing that come into your life since beginning your journey as a webcam model, that you attribute to the work you do?
“I relate to people differently. I’m able to relate to people ’cause I can stop and think about the complexities of what makes people who they are, and sometimes it leads me to understand or feel like I understand people better.
I’m one of those people, everyone talks to. I often know a lot of things that are going on at work just from people revealing them to me. I hesitate to call it gossip, ’cause it never felt gossipy. It always felt like a confidante thing, and I never really spread it. So people talk easily to me and I attribute that directly to my experience as a sex worker, as a cam-girl, and everything that goes with it.”
Question: What projects or goals are you working on these days?
Fae: I have the support of a wonderful wife and I’m in a position finally in my life where I can afford to step away from a traditional job and go back to school full-time. But I’m never somebody to sit and not have some kind of hustle. So I went back to cam, and as I said, independent Twitter has proven to be very good to me. I really get to just hand-pick who I like at this point and make appointments with them and that’s exactly how I like it. And it fits in perfectly with my life right now, I couldn’t ask for more.
I’ve been working on art. I make art with bones and jewelry, and I’ve had some of the ability to do that because I’m not doing the 40-hour thing, which is really nice.
So I’m trying to… As an older woman now, ’cause I started dancing, started doing sex work at 18. This is 30 years later. It used to feel like in my head that cam, sex work, photos, dancing, all of it – was a young girl’s game. But the truth is, it’s not. The world has become a much wider place since the invention of the internet, and the use of it for sexual exploration and not just in a niche fetish way. You’re seeing the presence of more sophisticated savvy women who are less reserved in knowing what they want. Who now may have had a normie life, or have one, and perhaps wanna explore more. Or those who make a dedicated life to it. I know dominatrixes who are in their 60s who are still working, some on cam, some not…
I like the idea that I can continue to be sexual in a way I care to as I continue to get older, and there’s a venue for me to do that.
Maybe three years from now, I’ll have a nice degree. And I’m going to seek a job, non-sex work or associated but more straight world oriented. I’d like to work for a non-profit preferably maybe doing policy if I’m going in one direction. I’m undecided about which direction to go with. Or perhaps, I look for a job that is freer, doesn’t have an office, I can work remotely, and travel the world.
And while I’m doing that, I’m never going to cease dressing up pretty cute, wearing jewelry, putting on my nails, and telling some little slut what to do on a camera for me long distance.
It brings a smile to my face, so I will always tie that in here and there. Like I said, probably for the rest of my life.”
Question: What do you think is the most important piece of wisdom you could possibly impart on those just getting started in the adult entertainment industry?
“Make your boundaries known.
It’s really hard sometimes to not just be acquiescing to everything when you’re starting. Your unsure of yourself, you’re thinking to be polite and a service-oriented person – don’t do that!
Make sure if something even slightly makes you uncomfortable, if you’re unsure about it, make it known.
This applies in real life, whether you’re a sex worker who is a dancer an escort, a Domme, or on camera. People will continue to try and push buttons and get you to do things or talk to you in a way that isn’t always comfortable. I behoove you to set your boundaries, know what they are and if you change them – you can, you’re allowed to – if you become comfortable with something that didn’t used to feel, or you used to let something happen, it didn’t bother you too much but now you have reasons to not wanna. Do that. Follow your gut on this. Trust me, you burn out hardcore if you try and acquiesce to everyone’s desire.
I encourage anyone who sees this video to explore, put thought into it, get to know people. You’ll find that easy enough to do I think.
Some people prefer to have a stepped back kind of performance with an audience over here, they do better with volume.
I’m speaking for people like me who would rather have six people who you interact with on a kind of deep level that you get to know as people and kind of just run with it and keep them for a long period of time.
I hope to do that with the cam customers I have now and I mean I have old customers from when I was a stripper, and one from when I was a dominatrix who I still occasionally indulge.
Live your life well, keep your boundaries tight, and make that money.”
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